środa, 16 grudnia 2015

wednesday

i'm worried when sometime i stand outside, smoke, and i don't have any fucking idea, what day is today, or  what i even do here. my face is buring, my mind are lost
i don't know enything

sobota, 28 listopada 2015

.

today i'm like:
ohhh just let me be who i am without playing then i'm someone else, ok?

niedziela, 22 listopada 2015

22

today is 22.11.15 actually is 11 p.m.
another day when i'm take the med.
still being very tired all days and i wanna sleep  (and i'm doing it) to 2 p.m
recently i...
hear the voices.
I'm scared.

sobota, 21 listopada 2015

yesterday and today

kay
yesterday wos awesome, i feel very good all day, i was been happy, ang energetic when i'm wake up, and when i'm driven to work. my entusiasm flopped a bit, but i've been still calm and pretty happy.
when i'm coming back to home i've smoke and after this i feel very bad, i've come home and didin't know what is up.
my friend comin to me, and we talk about 30 minuts under my house. Its been very funy and cool.i like him.
i take a med in 22 or somthing there, enything special
.
i can't sleep
i'm lying in bed to 6 a.m.
and now i'm sleep to 1 p.m.
with bad feeling
i don't pretty like this day, but
maybe it doesn't be that bad.

czwartek, 19 listopada 2015

Medicamentum

Okay, today is the first day of taking med.
Right now i'm feel pretty ok, but, eariler i was very sad angry and helpless.
i don't want to write why 'cuz i'm to lazy
tomorrow i'll write about whole day, and i'm gonna do it everyday for seen the difference if med works

wtorek, 17 listopada 2015

Hope.

i don't know which week i've been in this.
i can't imagine then i go to school.
i'm reject everyone
parents friend teachers people
i just can't be here
i need to disappear
maybe medicament will help me in this.

środa, 21 października 2015

why

why i can't watch the barbie movie.
Why i 'can't play with dolls
Why i can't wear the pink dresses
why i can't cry?
Fact that i am a boy, doesn't matter. Doesn't mean that i can't like those things
it's don't mean then i'm girlish, it's don't mean then i'm wrong.
You was wrong when you think, that this little boy who plays dolls with his friend, doin something bad.

sobota, 17 października 2015

my life from now

He's texting to me, but i don't really want to see anybody for a long time.
The only one who i want to see is my psychologist. She's my friend now... I think, that is, but it's just her job.
I've got a litlle big problem.
I can't go to school. I can't see other people.
Not becouse i don't want.
I just can't.
So for few days i'm lying in bed, and trying to not cry.

It's difficult to me. I don't know what's happening. I'm so scared...

17 November i've got a visit in psychiatrist, and i still didn't know what to say to him/her.

My life from now will be look like that. What i can do. I don't really know.

In my head is a lot of thought. That's lot, the i can tell it words.

sobota, 26 września 2015

Hello

Hello. This is my first post, is 8:50 PM and i didint know what to say.
I'm trying to write it in english, but it can be hard for me 'cuse i dont know this language that much how i wont.
 At first i wont to introduce oneself. Im Willem (its not my real name, but i like it), im 17 and im a transboy. Im interesting in much weirdo stuff, or not that weird how i think they are. I like fashion... I think. I like draw too, and im combinet it to this.
I try to be a fashion designer. I have some project and i think, i'll be set it here, for you.

But i want to talk about something right now.

I didn't want bo live enymore. I want to kill myself.
Some people say "oh, this movie was been that bad. I want to kill yourself." Or something
But im serious. I can't see anything in this world for me. I can't find it.
Enything i want is laying all day in bed. But my bed isn't good. My hous didn't be my house anymore. I want to live. I want to life.
But how i can, when enything doesn't have a sense?

But i'm trying to show other people, that life is fuckin amazing.
You need to find your happines and live. Just.
It's simple.
Be happy because you can walk with your feet on the earth. You need to say "i love you' people who derever to it. And its not must be boyfriend/girlfriend. It can be, friend, mom, dad, sister whoever u'now?
You need to traveled, you need, to find new friend. You need to live. Ok?
So go.