fck

A few months ago my brother told me that i was being bullied even in kindergarden.
what did i do to deserve this?
did my fatum know that i will do bad stuff when i grow up?
even tho im doing this becouse i were rised to know that the life id sensless.
or it's becase my past life was so bad so now im supposed to pay for it?
i don't know
i fell so bad
nobody can help me
do i wwanna feel like that?
thats why i don't let anyone help me?
or maybe it's juts that that i dont trust people.
or maybe that's how my life should go
full of pain and sadness
beautifull music and short moment of happines
to long nights withot sleep  drowing in tears
soon there will be christmass
i don't know how i will go thrue them
they will be as sad as today
i wanna sleep
its 04;18 am at 6;40 i have to get up to school
ad then at 10 pm ii have go to work for whole night
and then i will probaby sleep all day and at 8 pm i have to go t my friend birthday party
i wanna kill myself
can someone do that for me
i wanna fall in coma
so i woud finally sleep enough